Tuesday, February 2, 2010

In the begining


Well, what could I have expected? A good student, hard worker, big dreamer, 'most likely to be successful'. How could they not be utterly disappointed? Mom said that I had to tell Dad. It was bad, real bad.
Usually when Dad came home, we talked about our days, or plans for when we go to the farm again and so on. When I asked him to switch off the TV to talk, he must have known there was a problem.
"Dad,I have something to say to you, and I know you will be disappointed." I couldn't think it. I was his 'Pride and Joy'. We have our special relationship, one that he doesn't share with Cat or Andy. I was about to break his heart. I couldn't, but I had to. Tears started streaming down my face. "Dad, I'm pregnant."
Off course he didn't know what to say, he didn't expect it. But he's a business man, so he had to think of the practicalities. "Will you be able to handle it?" "Does the thing know?" "Is he going to be involved?" These were all questions directed at the situation, not any of our feelings.
I answered the questions with "I don't know." "Yes." & "Yes." After that, silence filled the room with a deafening effect. I told him good night and went to brush my teeth. After a while, when I passed the bathroom, I could hear him sob like father who has lost his child. I would have said that I cried myself to sleep, but I didn't sleep. After that I didn't sleep for two weeks.
Me and my parents were on a 'talk when it's of utmost importance' spree. The only conversations which went around were "Good morning." "Good Night." "Pass the salt." And the one time; "I made an appointment with Dr. Gregg for Tuesday morning at 09H30, need a lift?"
I kept to myself, trying to make it as easy as possible for them to be around me. It was awful seeing the look on their faces each day. I wondered what went through their minds when they looked at me. I wondered if they would ever forgive me.
Almost two weeks after I told Dad, they went on their usual Saturday shopping trip. I stayed at home, not wanting to spoil their day. When they got back, Dad wanted to speak to me. "I was thinking, in about two years time, I will be standing on the farm,near the feeding troths, teaching my grandchild how to say 'Moooo' and 'Mêêêê'." (I didn't expect that.) I stared at his face. He was talking to me, not asking me to pass the salt. And he was SMILING! Even his eyes were smiling!

Just then he took something from behind his back. I was so shocked that I didn't realize that he was holding anything.
He gave me a big brown teddy bear with a tan tartan bow around it's neck. "I wanted to be the first to give the baby a teddy bear." Tears started welding up in his eyes. My tears were already dripping on his chest as I hugged him. I didn't expect that he would be dreaming about his grandchild already.
Just then Mum came in with the tiniest little baby grow. A green one so that it would suit a boy or a girl. She smiled at me, and I let go of Dad so that I could hug her. I'm not sure if Dad joined us, or if I just never really let go of him, but the three of us (four, if you were counting the Teddy Bear in my hand) were having a group hug. All of us crying. All of us Happy. All of us already loving this baby inside of me.
Two weeks before, I would not have thought that I would ever have a moment like this ever in my life again. I can't really say that miracles happen. This was not a miracle; this was merely two parents loving their daughter, even if she had made a mistake. I hope and pray that I will be like this with my children.

2 comments:

  1. That made me tear up. LoL. I'm a sap I know. Thanks for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm crying as well! If only I knew what was going on in my friends life at that time! I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading Single Mom! All your comments are well-apreciated.

Enjoy your day!

Neikie